Adopted...Me??

I remember the day so clearly. Driving in the car for a week straight ten hours a day. I was 10 weeks pregnant and remember I often had to pull over to puke. The morning that morning was cloudy in Seattle, Washington. We packed up out of he very lowly motel and got McDonald's for breakfast. It was not far before we hit the border to Canada. My heart was racing, hands sweaty, butterflies in my pregnant belly. Then I saw it, the border, I told Royal "lets pray". I don't remember the whole prayer only the last thing I said. "Lord whatever your will is I trust you, let that be,"
As we drive up the Patrolman asked me for my passport. What? I don't have a passport. He then asked for my license and registration. Didn't have that either. "Please step out of the car mam, you need to go in and talk to immigration" We got out of the packed to the roof car and headed to the doors. Royal whispered, "I am in so much trouble"  I said, "Calm down its going to be fine." I had so much peace it was very weird, I think it was nerviness. They pulled us up on the computer. The man started to ask Royal all about his criminal history. I started to get upset to learn about things I didn't even know. The man made me sit down so he could talk to Royal alone. After about 10 minutes Royal came and sat down with a piece of paper saying we were not allowed in Canada.
We got back in our car and turned around. I said "see we just can't go to Canada, that's fine. At least they didn't arrest you." Now we were headed to the US boarder. "Why are they looking at us like that?" I said. Next thing I knew there were guns in my face, screaming at me to turn my car off and get out with my hands on my head. Royal could not get out because the door didn't open from the inside. I was trying to explain so they wouldn't shoot him. I was hysterical. They put handcuffs on me and placed me in a very small room.
That was the last time I saw Royal for awhile.
After that they said they were impounding my car and going to let me go. But that my fiance was in big trouble. I had $300, no car, ten weeks pregnant and alone. An officer decided to be nice and took me to the nearest hotel. The hotel manager felt real bad for me and gave me a calling card. I called my sister. That was a hard conversation. That night I couldn't eat, shower, or move. My life felt over. My sister flew the next morning to come get my car out of impound. She drove me all the way back to San Diego. God provided for me then even in my very sinful situation....because I am adopted.
Over the next few months I sold everything I owned and moved to Utah where Royal had been transferred from Washington to see the judge.
On the road again to a place I had never been, but this time the Lord was leading me not my emotions. Royal had been writing me. He said he had been saved. Through his letters and talking on the phone, he was different. Completely different person. My fiance was encouraging me with scripture, prayer, and his words while in jail. This coming from the man who I once could not talk to about the Lord. This is why I was moving to Utah.
The next few months I got a full time job, found an apartment, and had made many Mormon friends. We would stay up all night debating the scriptures and explaining the true gospel. The Lord moved me here.....because I am adopted.
Royal finally saw a judge and was not sent to prison for fleeing while on probation but 90 days...because he was adopted.
Please do not get me wrong. This situation was wrong. We sinned...we faced many consequences. I do not wish this upon others. But what I do know is Christ has redeemed me. I am adopted. This is amazing. This leads me to my knees, to tears, to unending thankfulness for my Savior.

This moment in my life...was life changing. The evidence of God's grace even in my sinful behavior was paralyzing. This is the gospel. I am adopted, an heir, His daughter. And I have done nothing to participate. If that doesn't change your life forever.....to think where you were......where you could be......I had already struggled with sexual abuse, drugs alcohol, anorexia, bulimia, domestic abuse, hard childhood, the only left would be death.

By God's grace I now have an amazing husband, who loves Jesus so much. Who sacrifice's for me and his three children everyday. Working twelve hour shifts during the middle of the night while we sleep, five days a week. Who only sleeps five hours so he can spend time with us before he goes to work again. Who takes a bath with his children to bond with them. Who take the trash out everyday. Who helps me with my teething 6 month old, two year old, and four year old. Who takes the dog on a walk. And more before he has to leave for work again.Who points me to my Savior daily, who prays with me daily, who encourages me daily. God has blessed me with a Godly husband, three amazing children, but most of all has redeemed me, adopted me, I am an heir. His daughter.

I desire to put on Christ daily, I desire to continually be changed into His image daily, I desire cry "Abba Father" daily. To live in the freedom of Christ is the best place to be in the entire world.



"I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything, but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father. In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world. But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts crying "Abba Father!" So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." Galatians 4:1-7

An Overwhelming Weep

This morning as we were driving I was looking out the window and I looked over at the riverbed. A homeless man stood staring at the water. We turned onto another street and a man they call "shorts" was digging through the trash. We were almost to our destination and I saw another man coming out of the riverbed with his grocery cart. On my way home just about 6 blocks away to other homeless men were walking together. I thought at least they have each other.

I could not get their faces out of my head, I tried to lay down after I lyed the boys down for there nap, and these faces just kept popping up. My chest and heart started hurting. I got a large lump in my throat. I began to pray. "Oh Abba Father, have mercy on these people. Help them. Help them find hope in Christ.." I just prayed and prayed and wept and wept. I was sobbing for these people.

I have never experienced this before....I have never sobbed for homeless people. God loves these people as much as He loves me. They are no different than me. God's love is beyond my brain capacity, God's love is bigger than we can imagine. I have been passing these people and judging them in my heart. Am I God? ummm no! God is the judge, God calls me to love my neighbor. Jesus loved everyone! The dirty filthy people that I have been passing by every day without a second thought.

My prayer is that God continues to open my eyes....open my eyes beyond my potato sized brain. My prayer is to become more like Jesus and less like Natalie. My prayer is to stop caring about what other think about homeless people and what God thinks about homeless people. My prayer is to just stop caring about my kingdom and care about God's kingdom.

Jesus thank you for living on this earth perfectly...thank you for your sacrifice on the cross for me..me, I just don't understand that. But I am so thankful. Only you Jesus can love perfectly!

Hi Mr.

*Yesterday evening after dinner I said to my husband, "I love the shampoo they used when I got my haircut today." Okay so I never ever get the good stuff and it never even crossed my mind till today. I prayed and said..God you know I don't need this, this is ridiculous...but I proceeded to call the haircut place and ask how much it was. I was surprised it was not expensive at all!  
*So we head out the door (my husband so sick with a cold) get the kids in the car and we are off. The whole time I am praying...God is this really ok? Really?...So I go in to the salon and grab the shampoo and conditioner look on the bottle and it was $35.00 EACH!! EACH!!! That is not what she said on the phone, I thought.
So she comes to the desk and says, "oh you wanted the big one." I replied, "yeah but I can't, are they really $35.00 each?" She looked at me and said no, they are not. She walked over and proceeded to tell me that this other one is on sale (not even the same product) lol. So she said, "how about two for the price of one?" WHAT?? Are you kidding me God? Now to me that's still a lot but I knew God was blessing me. This is ridiculous!! Are you kidding me its just shampoo!

*I get in the car and tell everyone about how I was just blessed. We proceed to the grocery store. I only went in with my 1 year old, I just needed some milk. As I was wiping my cart with a wipe a man walks out ad grabs a wipe too. He said to me, "do you know where they sell medical gauze?" as he looked down at his bandaged hand. He was homeless. I told him that I think next door at CVS they do, and I said I am sorry.
*As soon as I got in the store I thought. Natalie what did you just do? Why didn't you help him? So I hurried through the store praying...God please let him be outside...please let us help him...I run to the van unload (while telling my husband the story) and look over at CVS and he is checking out. We hurried to get there before he could pay. Royal walked in and he was standing there with the items he just bought opening them in the store. Royal decided to pull money out to give him for his wound. As I waited in the van I prayed...God there is more, what can I do, what do you want me to do?...I started writing on my receipt from the store, the gospel.

Hi Mr.,
God loves you and sent his son Jesus to die so that we may live. Jesus died for your sins. He loves you!

*As Royal was talking to him after he gave him the money. I ran in crying and handed him the note. and went back in the van. royal came back in the car and said he had been shot in the hand. he had a bullet hole infecting his hand. he told me the man read the note out loud and I watched him put it in his wallet. he said "tell her thank you and I will read this often to help me stay on the straight and narrow."

*What! Oh my Almighty Father, you are so so amazing. I am in awe of your Glory and Greatness!

*This is God's story and not mine. This is for His glory and His alone!